Ohne Dich

Ich werde in die Tannen gehen
Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen
Doch der Abend wirft ein Tuch aufs Land
Und auf die Wege hinterm Waldesrand
Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht

Auf den Ästen in den Gräben
Ist es nun still und ohne Leben
Und das Atmen fällt mir ach so schwer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht

A.H.I.G.

"Dead Memories"

Sitting in the dark, I can't forget.
Even now, I realize the time I'll never get.
Another story of the Bitter Pills of Fate.
I can't go back again. I can't go back again...
But you asked me to love you and I did.
Traded my emotions for a contract to commit

And when I got away, I only got so far. The Other Me Is Dead.
I hear his voice inside my head...
We were never alive, and we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive with Dead Memories in my heart.
You told me to love you and I did. Tied my soul into a knot and got me to submit.

So when I got away, I only kept my scars. The Other Me Is Gone.
Now I don't know where I belong...
We were never alive, and we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive with Dead Memories in my heart.
Dead Visions in your Name.
Dead Fingers in my Veins.
Dead Memories in my Heart

Moving on....

Life is a funny thing sometimes...
It could make a crazy man seem normal while turning a sane man into a rabid animal. Who decides these things that entrap our souls for everyone to see, like jars of organs at a museum. Life stinks like formaldehyde roses and love feels like that rose dragging its razor tipped thorns across the skin.

Why does love have to be a double edged sword. To cut through the worst possible problems only for it to ricochet off a boulder of doubt and decapitate the one fighting the hardest. The plated armor has been pierced, shattered and fire has burned the flesh under which it protects. Everything lost. 

But then the sun shines through the fog and smoke and rises the dead heart of a broken man like a phoenix from the ashes. New life being breathed back into the lifeless body. Who's to say what this force maybe. The only thing that is known is that shattered vessel of blood has been replaced with something more powerful than originally equipped.

Now it is time to leave the blood on the floor from sleeve of the man who's heart was he holding and let the fire of hope guide him past his trepidations. As he continues, the path will get harder but its the fire that consumes him that will burn down every obstacle. This is what makes a man who he is.

Life is a funny thing sometimes...
We take heed of what makes us seem sagacious, but to live and love is to be completely insane.  

Danger Keep Away

I'm not what you think

Or am I?

Or am I what you think?

You could never ever know 

Please keep far away (Far far away)
Keep far away (Far far away)
Far away (Far far away)

I won't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say

That place in my mind
That space that you call mine

(Got trapped in)

So please just trust in us
Just trust in us
Trust in us
Us

Danger
We too feel alone

Danger
We too feel alone

We too feel alone
We've too feel alone

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

Where have I been all this time?
Lost enslaved fatal decline
I've been waiting for this too unfold (Good)
My pieces are only as good as the whole

Severed myself from my own life
Cut out the only thing that was right
What If I never saw you again?
I'd die right next to you in the end

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

I won't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say

Danger
Danger
Danger
We too feel alone

Circle of Fear

"Circle Of Fear"

Heartache is knocking on her door
Shadows dance outside her window
Tears keep falling on the floor
As the world around her crumbles

[Chorus:]
If you want to save her
First you have to save yourself
If you want to free her from the hurt
Don't do it with your pain
If you want to see her smile again
Don't show her you're afraid
Because your circle of fear is the same

Love can be as cold as grave
A one-way ticket to endless sorrow
An empire of gentle hate
Today without tomorrow

[Chorus]

It's the circle of regret
The circle of hate
The circle of death
Your circle of fear is the same

I lost my life a few weeks ago and today I feel its time to pick up the pieces. Maybe one day I will find what I lost but thankfully I have the opportunity to walk through the darkest hell I have ever been in and try to conquer the pain my heart feels. The circle of fear was put around me but now that I have let that circle go to prove who I really am and that Im not someone to fear, I can try to feel again since my life was taken from me.

Oblivion

"Oblivion"

I flew beyond the sun before it was time
Burning all the gold that held me inside my shell
Waiting for you to pull me back in
I almost had the world in my sight

Lost love
Bright eyes fading
Faster than stars falling
How can I tell you that I've failed?
Tell you I failed

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

I tried to burrow a hole into the ground
Breaking all the fingers and the nails from my hands
The eyes of a child see no wrong
Ignorant bliss, impending doom

Lost love
Bright eyes fading
Faster than stars falling
How can I tell you that I've failed?
Tell you I failed

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion, in oblivion, in oblivion

Its not disposable...

What are you good at?

What is it that you're good at? People today take too much into what other people think they should do and what they feel is best for them. There are two sides to every coin, and if the coin is what you should pursue in life well that coin can be a hard thing to swallow. Say that there is something that you love to do but your not entirely good at it, that's heads. Then the flip side gives you what you are good at and that's tails. You might not really see that what you are good at will make you love it but in the end you can. 

Heads: The thing you love to do but do you have a talent for it. I can relate to this in a few levels. I love baseball, enjoy to watch and play, but do I excel at it? NO!!! Swimming, its fun to do but can I swim the English Channel? Not to likely and no I'm not entering any races either. Golf, I can crush the golf ball further than many other people I have played with and keep it straight down the fairway. Oh that sounds great huh!?! Well I make it to the green and end up choking. I love to do all of these things but I would not try to make a career out of any of them. Just because you love something doesn't mean that you should pursue that as a course of action in your life. Myself there are other things I love that reality sets in and says, "Nope you know better!" I love to race and go fast and in the right vehicle, I am often untouchable! I'm not racing...I have too many people to lose if something happens to me!

Tails: What your good at. People think that if they are good at something it should just be something for them in some cases. Myself there are many things I am good at. One of my hobbies and passions is wood working. I love to take something from its raw form and create something beautiful from it. I am especially good at turning wood. To me its that taking a piece of wood and machining it to what I see in my mind. Now for some people that means doing the same thing over and over again. Myself I seem to see the beauty of the wood internally below the material that will soon to be wasted as saw dust and wood chips. I love to visit one of my suppliers and hand pick the pieces I want to work with. To see the look on everyone's face like I had to choose that piece, often gives me the satisfaction of being an artist. Just wait until I'm finished and you will see what I see. I have made some of the most elegant pieces that have ever left the workshop I do my work in. I'm also good at photography. I could show better work if I had the right equipment available but I do with what I have. I love to do these two things at the same time.

Now for those who don't know I am attending Pharmacy school. Oh no that's right I was trying EMT at one time and what happened? I backed out...I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR CRITICIZING REMARKS ABOUT WHAT I TRIED BEFORE...ITS PAINFUL AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!!! Okay, sorry about that! :) I am compassionate to those in need, I was raised that way! I want to help people out but also make sure they are properly cared for and that's why I chose pharmaceuticals. I'm also very talented in the driving department as was mentioned earlier but in a production manner. I enjoy driving for work and that includes using machinery for material handling. I drive tractors, trucks, forklifts and ect. The only thing is I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. 

The problem with the world and careers today and I have figured this out. Trust me as someone who has had a multitude of jobs in my life, I can say that very few of them have ever let me really enjoy myself. One day, I hope to open a photo studio with my special someone. And in that studio I will be able to take photos but also incorporate my woodworking talents also. I also want to work in the pharmacy to make the steady income until the time comes where I can either cut back or walk away and follow my talents. 

Just learn this...when someone tells you that you are doing pursuing the wrong thing, ignore them! When they criticize you for your decision in life ask them if they are doing what they really want to be doing. If they are a doctor or a teacher and it was expected of them to do that and they really didn't want to become that...who's life are they living? It was the one who said you can't follow what you love and what you are good at! If you want to be a model or an actor or anything else don't let other people or yourself limit how far you go.

*And yes I made the candle holder in the pic above!:)*

Is Lust a Sin?

Lust gets the scarlet letter because lust begets dark compulsion when it is twisted by environmental agitation...Real lust is a celebration of the sexual self, a while other side of yourself that comes to life in the right circumstances. It is letting yourself go, trusting that the other person is there with you. Real lust gets your blood going; it gets everything going, really,

Humm, something to think about?

Cutting Edge

Here are some great places to find shaving tools and accessories.

http://kellsoriginal.com/ Great place to start with soap. High quality homemade soaps with many scents available from the classic english rose to the rustic ancient sedona. Good place to start with a double edge razor and a basic shaving brush to create a good lather.

http://www.classicshaving.com/Home.html Yes its more expensive but if this is for you then its well worth the money to invest in good stuff. Carry more lines of shaving equipment and brushes so that perfect lather is put on your face. They carry everything.

Note: I use a straight razor. This is not for everyone and your own comfort level should be considered at this stage. DO NOT JUST GO BUY THE CHEAPEST STRAIGHT RAZOR YOU CAN FIND!!!! This is highly important because of the quality of the blade and you may not wish to continue using one. I recommend to start with a double edge then move on to what is called a Shavette. It is modeled from a straight razor but uses double edge blades that are snapped in half or purchased as such. Its a good way to start to feel comfortable with out breaking the bank until you wish to upgrade to a true straight razor.

Straight Cuts

So I have been shaving for about 12 years consistently now and was always taught through advertising that a razor with multiple blades is the best way to go...WRONG!!! Oh that latest and greatest shaving gel or cream...oops 0 for 2. You have to spend a ton of money on a good razor...HIT THE SHOWERS YOUR DONE!!! The reality of it is that many men including myself need better...why you may ask! Oh its cause we hate the irritation that these awesome new commercial products are supposed to do for us. About a year ago I ran into a guy who let me in on a secret...less is more! That's right fewer blades less irritation more lovin' from the ladies, (joking). I had my first encounter with a double edged razor. WOW what a world of difference. Then shortly after I started using hot soap lather. Ohhh Ahhh. I started to notice less burn or bumps from shaving. No its not cause i started using soap or the razor its both! A few months ago I decided to try my hand and my neck at a straight razor. Ok Ok Ok for those out there who are afraid of a shaky hand taking off your cheek or slicing your jugular, fyi i shake too. :) Its going to be expected that when you self shave with a straight razor your going to have a new scar appear somewhere and hey lets face it (no pun intended) chicks dig scars. So what has this done for me? Hardly any breakouts from the burn and fewer ingrown hairs even yet. Hey who knows, I might actually get good enough to shave other people with it one day!

Wisdom of Fools

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
Hunter S. Thompson

About this blog

I will be going through some of the things that i deal with on a daily basis and let the world know about them. I will talk about products I come across, things that interest me, things that make me laugh, voice my overall opinion and talk about life, love and family.