Hummm I'm Pretentious Because I Own A MAC???

Ok, so for those who may not know, when I moved to Los Angeles in 2004 I took a job as a sales rep for at the time successful computer company Dell Inc. I was at one of the most profitable sales kiosk that the company had set up as a face to face business model. We did not carry inventory, just displays and would order systems just like customers would when they called into Dell call centers. I enjoyed the job and was payed quite well. Dell was against selling their products in retail locations because of the failure that Gateway faced when they opened up their own proprietary retail stores. They went into the retail market later to gain more sales but followed the model that all other companies had done. A pre-built in the box get what you get. The thing that I asked because I did have company corporate contacts with the executives of Dell. My question was, "Why is the cost of a PC much lower than that of a Mac?" I also asked this question to Intel rep who serviced my kiosk.

Well I got the answer and I give Apple kudos for having the gall to stay quiet about why they cost much more. Im not here to back or justify Apple's pricing but to voice something that bothers me when someone calls me a wannabe computer user or just a bandwagon rider. This is the reality of the game and what the market of computers brings to consumers. Apple has their problems, and for you Windows fans that guffawed at my observation, hows Windows 8 treating you? I do not blame Microsoft solely although they have got a big hand in this and I do not really blame software companies although they contribute to this but the blame falls mostly on the manufactures of PCs. Okay, I know what your thinking and yes I understand its sounds ridiculous but this is what I was told is the industry standard. My MacBook Pro would cost if they still made this model, $2100 brand new out of the box out of the store. OMG WHY SO MUCH??? Well I'll let you in on a secret but first lets compare my Mac to a retail store off the shelf PC laptop that is comparable. Ok, so I found a laptop that is somewhat comparable. Samsung ATIV 15 inch screen 8Gb Ram and a 750 GB hard drive for $699. The biggest difference is the fact the Samsung has an HDMI built in. My Mac, a lightning port and a firewire port. Sure the Samsung has 3 USB ports, 2 that are USB 2.0 and 1 USB 3.0. Mine only has 2 USB but they are both USB 3.0, and as long as my Mac is plugged in to its charger, the USB ports will charge a phone or tablet.

So minor things that are pros for each machine, there really isn't much difference. So heres the brass tacks...someone pays that difference and the proof is the pudding. We will start with retailers. They get to flex some of the prices for each of the Windows computers. Apple states that their products do not need to be placed on sale. I agree. The old saying, "You get what you pay for." This is what we get. Apple's OSX is a simple and powerful operating system, that for graphic designers, photographers, film producers, music producers and engineers very much prefer to use a Mac. Yes, you can do all of that same stuff on PC with the same software but somehow miraculously its simpler on a Mac. Does that make the cost of the MAC stand so much higher. Not even slightly. Microsoft is not mandating whats on a PC from any given company. Its the company itself and when it was explained to me I could not believe it.

We all call it something different: Trashware, Bloatware, crap preloaded and etc. Hummm, but its extra software. How does it make your PC cheaper? These companies, too many to list here sponsor these manufactures and also Microsoft to some extent. Yes, this software is free, it doesn't make those companies and money, they are free trials or basic programs only or how ever you want to justify them. Ok, sure they don't make money off of those programs preloaded on your new HP, Asus, Acer, Dell, Sony or Samsung. Ahhhh, but they do make money off of those programs and your PC manufacture gets a cut of it. Start up your new PC and open Microsoft Office or Nortons Anti-Virus or what ever else is on there. You can only use those programs and not even full versions for 30-60-90 days or if youre lucky a year on the antivirus. We get sucked in to buy $600 versions of Office, pay a subscription to a full version of Norton or McAfee. Those games from Wild Tangent, sure you get a couple free trys at Polar Golf but wanna play more gotta buy some tokens or buy the game. Say you buy a computer from the store, guaranteed its only got a limited version of windows on it. So, you have to pay extra for the "Pro" or "Ultimate" versions that are an extra $200-$600. Oh that free software that came on your computer. Its not working right and now your system is messing up. "Crap, now what?"

So when I was told by an executive of Dell Inc., they use these software companies to bloat their computers for home consumers and get money back from those software companies to help pay for some of the cost. I knew the companies associated with Microsoft Windows and that includes Microsoft itself, were scamming the public. Apple, catches so much flack for being a fiscally inflated company with its products. They dont make as many units as all the other companies combined. Same with the iPhone versus Androids. There is only one Apple iPhone but how many companies that make Androids? Apple does not outsource their brand to software companies to pay for an operating system. Their cost, is passed on to us because they are a business too. They have employees that yes dont make the money we do in the states, but exporting is not cheap either. All the other companies except maybe Dell and Asus still have most of their computers made overseas. Im not expecting the new MacPro to be a inexpensive retail item, but they are being made to very very high quality standards here in America.

Now take out that bloatware, build the computers to business standards and guess what happens? That price that was so cheap in the retail market, isnt so cheap anymore and you got less. Hummmmm, sounds fishy. "Oh those computers have better components!!!" REALLY!?! Its all about paying someone for some design. Sleek, Sexy computers made by all those companies; including Apple. I love my all aluminum case that has no holes in the bottom of it for a fan but tucked away neatly in the screen hinge. That cool looking apple that is lit up when its on makes a statement that I own a Mac.

Last point. How many people went out and paid $200 to upgrade their PC from Windows Vista to Windows 7 or Windows 7 to I dont know what they where thinking Windows 8? $200!!! History tells us something great from Apple. If anything tells us something special, it is the cost to upgrade our OS. Users last year in 2012 got to upgrade OSX Snow Leopard to OSX Mountain Lion all for the cost of $20. Not higher, not lower...but $20. Well someone shot the cats, drove their bodies to just south of the San Francisco Bay and drowned those poor kitties in the Mavericks. Yes people, Im more than excited and even as much as I love my beautiful perfect working purring Mountain Lion, I cannot wait for Mavericks to be released and I will, mark my word upgrade ASAP! Sorry Windows fans all you got was Win 8 SP1 which primarily gave you back the start button. *Cue Foghorn here* OSX Mavericks will be spoken about at another time when I get to play with it and and get too know it well.

So, is it really a huge cost to buy a Mac? Yeah, Im not going to tell you its not! But that PC that doesnt have that extra software in it, is pretty expensive too. So, instead of calling us Mac users bandwagon computer wannabes who paid too much, realize you just fooled by your PC builder. Its a ploy for you to buy the full versions of software. Like Office is for the most part already in your system, you just have to buy the product key and it finishes out the software for you to use. There are different versions of Windows operating systems, but only one OSX Mountain Lion, Snow Leopard, Lion, Tiger, Cheetah, Leopard, etc. Yes, it would put me back a hefty and extremely pretty penny to purchase another MacBook Pro like I have with all the software but hey, that software I have cost the same for Widows users too. Its all about preference and I love my Mac.

New things

So the work has been a little slow due to some personal things going on (nothing bad just busy and no time) but my house is coming along. Waiting to get my windows in and im finishing out the hardwood floor in my dining room. Carpet going in soon also in my bedrooms, and my sitting room next to my bedroom downstairs. Its nice to see things progress the way they are but its taking time and Im bummed its not done now. Gotta have it done soon because im looking into maybe start driving truck around the country. Ugh my life is getting crazy it seems, and then to add the fact that I could be away from home for 2 - 3 weeks at a time while im driving truck makes it even crazier but gotta do what I gotta do. Pictures coming soon of my house while im working on it :)

On the road again

So I've been thinking about driving truck for a living. It's good money, gives me the opportunity to travel the country and it's something I probably would be good at. Something to keep praying about and see how it can effect my future

My new city

So I've made the move to Joplin at the beginning of the month. It's been interesting to say the least and was hoping that I'd be able to get into my house sooner but thankfully that will come soon. There are a few things that make me feel this is a good place to be after having my life ripped apart. Joplin is a wonderful city and not just because it got hit severely by the may 22nd tornado. People can be asses here but at the same time there are people just equally nice and genuine. I am with a great girl who loves me for the man I am and I love her too. So more updates will come soon.

Jaymes

Ending the Pain

Its been a hard few months...
Seeing what is out there in the world so i can see a glimmer of light again...
I'm ready to live again for the first time...
New plans are being made, ones more realistic...

Moving on past the pain to find a life that makes me happy...
Over the disappointments of the heart...
Vindicated in a reality of what I have...
Intrigued by the new...
Nearing the final turn of the past...
Granting a new uncomfortableness...
Observing the craziness that is intoxicating...
Nesting in a joyous movement of myself...
Malevolent images of what I never really had...
Obstetric actions that bring life to the new me...
Dissolved is the shell around the nut hidden away from society.
Eating, breathing and drinking...

Say hello to the new me...  

Amour Amour

Love is a wild animal
It breathes you it looks for you
It nests upon broken hearts
and goes hunting when there are kisses and candles
It sucks tightly on your lips
and digs tunnels through your ribs
It drops softly like snow
First it gets hot then cold in the end it hurts

Amour Amour
Everyone just wants to tame you
Amour Amour in the end
caught between your teeth

Love is a wild animal
It bites and scratches and steps towards me
It holds me tightly with a thousand arms
and drags me into its love nest
It devours me completely
and retches me back out after many years
It drops softly like snow
First it gets hot then cold in the end it hurts

Amour Amour
Everyone just wants to tame you
Amour Amour in the end
caught between your teeth

Love is a wild animal
You fall into its trap
It stares into your eyes
Spellbound when its gaze hits you

Please please give me poison

Die Nacht öffnet ihren Schoß         The night opens her lap

Das Kind heißt Einsamkeit            The child's name is loneliness

Es ist kalt und regungslos           It is cold and motionless

Ich weine leise in die Zeit          I cry softly into time

Ich weiß nicht wie du heißt          I don't know what your name is

Doch ich weiß dass es dich gibt      But I know that you exist

Ich weiß dass irgendwann             I know that sometime

irgendwer mich liebt                 Someone will love me

He comes to me every night           He comes to me every night

No words are left to say             No words are left to say

With his hands around my neck        His hands around my neck

I close my eyes and pass away        I close my eyes and pass away

 

I don't know who he is               I don't know who he is

In my dreams he does exist           In my dreams he does exist

His passion is a kiss                His passion is a kiss

And I cannot resist                  And I cannot resist

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Don't die before I do                Don't die before I do

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Stirb nicht vor mir                  Don't die before I do

I don't know who you are             I don't know who you are

I know that you exist                I know that you exist

Stirb nicht                          Don't die

Sometimes love seems so far          Sometimes love seems so far

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Your love I can't dismiss            Your love I can't dismiss

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Alle Häuser sind verschneit          All the houses are covered in 
                                     snow

Und in den Fenstern Kerzenlicht      And candle light in the 
                                     windows

Dort liegen sie zu zweit             They lie there together

Und ich                              And I

Ich warte nur auf dich               I only wait for you

 

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Don't die before I do                Don't die before I do

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Stirb nicht vor mir                  Don't die before I do

I don't know who you are             I don't know who you are

I know that you exist                I know that you exist

Stirb nicht                          Don't die

Sometimes love seems so far          Sometimes love seems so far

Ich warte hier                       I wait here

Your love I can't dismiss            Your love I can't dismiss

Stirb nicht vor mir                  Don't die before I do

Babe

You're so pure, so sure again
Whatever you do, we will laugh again
I'm like you, a fool again
Whenever I fell, I got up again

Babe you don't have to be afraid in my eyes
Babe, don't be ashamed

Find your way and lose again
Wherever you are you can choose again
Your heart will break, and heal again
And one day will come when you believe again

Babe, you don't have to be afraid in my eyes
Babe, don't be ashamed
Babe, you don't have to be afraid in my eyes
Babe, I'm so glad that you stayed

Babe, you don't have to be afraid in my eyes
Babe, don't be ashamed
Babe, you don't have to be afraid in my eyes
And I'm so glad that you stayed

Dont Die Before I Do

The night opens her lap
The child's name is loneliness
It is cold and motionless
I cry softly into time
I don't know what your name is
But I know that you exist
I know that sometime
someone will love me

He comes to me every night
No words are left to say
With his hands around my neck
I close my eyes and pass away

I don't know who he is
In my dreams he does exist
His passion is a kiss
And I can not resist

I wait here
Don't die before I do
I wait here
Don't die before I do

I don't know who you are
I know that you exist
Don't die
Sometimes love seems so far
I wait here
Your love I can't dismiss
I wait here

All the houses are covered in snow
And candle light in the windows
They lie there together
And I
I only wait for you

I wait here
Don't die before I do
I wait here
Don't die before I do

I don't know who you are
I know that you exist
Don't die
Sometimes love seems so far
I wait here
Your love I can't dismiss

Don't die before I do

The Day I Let Go

.

What a waste of life this is, every altercation I permit is
Like a quiet sigh
From a man resigned to a place that was never his
And the hours are long, even in a world where I belong
Every second stays, every minute counts against my sentence

I Fall…I had to let you go…

What I tried to accomplish died – every offer of faith I had
To fight and a dream unfolds
The moon is cold because the sun left early
And the days go by, even when my conscience just won’t try
Every week decays, every month is rotten -
I AM FORGOTTEN

I fall… I had to let you go
I fall…my mind is all I know
I fall… the table turns to dust
I fall… today, I let go of my trust

What a waste of time I am, every ounce of life is
Just dead flesh
I can’t forget, but then again you can’t let me remember
When I try to speak, every word I say comes out so bleak
I don’t want this, I don’t want you
But I DON’T WANT ANYONE
I don’t want anyone…

I fall… I had to let you go
I fall…my mind is all I know
I fall… the table turns to dust
I fall… today, I let go of my trust
I let go of my trust

Last Baron

I'd guess they would say we could set this world ablaze

Please, please take my hand
Please take my soul to rest
So we can always be around

It is hard to see
Through all the haze at the top of the trees
Hold my head on stable ground
Watch as the earth falls all around

Please, please take my hand
Please take my soul to rest
So we can always be around

Faltering footsteps
Dead end path
All that I need is this wise mans staff
Encased in crystal he leads the way
I guess they'd say we could set the world ablaze

Please, please take my hand
Please take my soul to rest
So we can always be around

I guess they would say we can set the world ablaze
Hold my head on stable ground
Watch as the earth falls all around

Take my black soul
Arrive in the fires that burn my skin
Guide my eyes all through this maze
I guess they'd say we could set the world ablaze

All that I have seen
Standing on the edge
The foot of precipice
Floating in the sea
Past the king of swords
Quickly to the shore
The last baron
The last baron

Ghost of man surrounds me in my slumber
I have no fear as your wing is my shelter

Cyanide he craves
Coursing through his veins
Providing him with strength
To see this to the end
Afraid of psychic eyes
Faith in mystic power
The last baron
The last baron

Will he save me?
Will he save me?

I was standing staring at the world
And I can't see it
I was standing staring at the world
And I can't see it

I was standing staring at the world
And I still can't see it
I was standing staring at the world
And I still can't see it

I was standing staring at the world
And I still can't see it
I was standing staring at the world
And I still can't see it

All that I have seen
Standing on the edge
The foot of precipice
Floating in the sea
Past the king of swords
Quickly to the shore
The last baron
The last baron

Ghost of man surrounds me in my slumber
I have no fear as your wing is my shelter

Cyanide he craves
Coursing through his veins
Providing him with strength
To see this to the end
Afraid of psychic eyes
Faith in mystic power
The last baron
The last baron

Will he save me?
Will he save me?

I guess they would say we can set the world ablaze
Hold my head on stable ground
Watch as the earth falls all around

It is hard to see
Through all the haze at the top of the trees
Hold my head on stable ground
Watch as the earth falls all around

Please, please take my hand
Please take my soul to rest
So we can always be around

Faltering footsteps
Dead end path
All that I need is this wise mans staff
Encased in crystal he leads the way
I guess they'd say we could set the world ablaze

Make me see how you love

Up in flames my heart has become

Your influence of passion holds me close

Mind is racing trying to sort out this mess

But I can’t control everything in life

Know my position and who I am

I love that smile you give me

Can this all be a dream or a wicked reality?

Give my soul a chance to escape this flesh

You gave me hope for a great future

Everything looked great in that glimpse of time

Some day this will be a distant memory

One love my heart will crave

Cannot shake this feeling.

 Ohne Dich

Ich werde in die Tannen gehen
Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen
Doch der Abend wirft ein Tuch aufs Land
Und auf die Wege hinterm Waldesrand
Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht

Auf den Ästen in den Gräben
Ist es nun still und ohne Leben
Und das Atmen fällt mir ach so schwer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht

A.H.I.G.

"Dead Memories"

Sitting in the dark, I can't forget.
Even now, I realize the time I'll never get.
Another story of the Bitter Pills of Fate.
I can't go back again. I can't go back again...
But you asked me to love you and I did.
Traded my emotions for a contract to commit

And when I got away, I only got so far. The Other Me Is Dead.
I hear his voice inside my head...
We were never alive, and we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive with Dead Memories in my heart.
You told me to love you and I did. Tied my soul into a knot and got me to submit.

So when I got away, I only kept my scars. The Other Me Is Gone.
Now I don't know where I belong...
We were never alive, and we won't be born again.
But I'll never survive with Dead Memories in my heart.
Dead Visions in your Name.
Dead Fingers in my Veins.
Dead Memories in my Heart

Moving on....

Life is a funny thing sometimes...
It could make a crazy man seem normal while turning a sane man into a rabid animal. Who decides these things that entrap our souls for everyone to see, like jars of organs at a museum. Life stinks like formaldehyde roses and love feels like that rose dragging its razor tipped thorns across the skin.

Why does love have to be a double edged sword. To cut through the worst possible problems only for it to ricochet off a boulder of doubt and decapitate the one fighting the hardest. The plated armor has been pierced, shattered and fire has burned the flesh under which it protects. Everything lost. 

But then the sun shines through the fog and smoke and rises the dead heart of a broken man like a phoenix from the ashes. New life being breathed back into the lifeless body. Who's to say what this force maybe. The only thing that is known is that shattered vessel of blood has been replaced with something more powerful than originally equipped.

Now it is time to leave the blood on the floor from sleeve of the man who's heart was he holding and let the fire of hope guide him past his trepidations. As he continues, the path will get harder but its the fire that consumes him that will burn down every obstacle. This is what makes a man who he is.

Life is a funny thing sometimes...
We take heed of what makes us seem sagacious, but to live and love is to be completely insane.  

Danger Keep Away

I'm not what you think

Or am I?

Or am I what you think?

You could never ever know 

Please keep far away (Far far away)
Keep far away (Far far away)
Far away (Far far away)

I won't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say

That place in my mind
That space that you call mine

(Got trapped in)

So please just trust in us
Just trust in us
Trust in us
Us

Danger
We too feel alone

Danger
We too feel alone

We too feel alone
We've too feel alone

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

Where have I been all this time?
Lost enslaved fatal decline
I've been waiting for this too unfold (Good)
My pieces are only as good as the whole

Severed myself from my own life
Cut out the only thing that was right
What If I never saw you again?
I'd die right next to you in the end

That place in my mind
Is that space that you call mine

I won't let you walk away
Without hearing what I have to say

Danger
Danger
Danger
We too feel alone

Circle of Fear

"Circle Of Fear"

Heartache is knocking on her door
Shadows dance outside her window
Tears keep falling on the floor
As the world around her crumbles

[Chorus:]
If you want to save her
First you have to save yourself
If you want to free her from the hurt
Don't do it with your pain
If you want to see her smile again
Don't show her you're afraid
Because your circle of fear is the same

Love can be as cold as grave
A one-way ticket to endless sorrow
An empire of gentle hate
Today without tomorrow

[Chorus]

It's the circle of regret
The circle of hate
The circle of death
Your circle of fear is the same

I lost my life a few weeks ago and today I feel its time to pick up the pieces. Maybe one day I will find what I lost but thankfully I have the opportunity to walk through the darkest hell I have ever been in and try to conquer the pain my heart feels. The circle of fear was put around me but now that I have let that circle go to prove who I really am and that Im not someone to fear, I can try to feel again since my life was taken from me.

Oblivion

"Oblivion"

I flew beyond the sun before it was time
Burning all the gold that held me inside my shell
Waiting for you to pull me back in
I almost had the world in my sight

Lost love
Bright eyes fading
Faster than stars falling
How can I tell you that I've failed?
Tell you I failed

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

I tried to burrow a hole into the ground
Breaking all the fingers and the nails from my hands
The eyes of a child see no wrong
Ignorant bliss, impending doom

Lost love
Bright eyes fading
Faster than stars falling
How can I tell you that I've failed?
Tell you I failed

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion

Falling from grace cause I've been away too long
Leaving you behind with me lonesome song
Now I'm lost in oblivion, in oblivion, in oblivion

Its not disposable...